The Onion goes after Facebook with Onion Social

The Onion has gone after some big billionaires this past month. First Elon Musk for suggesting he could start his own online humor publication. And more recently, Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg.

Take this June 15 open letter, for example, written from the voice of a Zuckerberg baby and titled Daddy, I Don’t Want To Live In The World Your Website Has Created. Here’s just one biting excerpt from it:

Everybody says you’re really smart, but why would a smart person want to build something that makes people unhappy? Daddy, be honest: Did you make your website bad on purpose? In your Senate hearing, you said you didn’t know all the ways it was hurting people. But if you made the whole website, wouldn’t you know everything about it, even all the bad things it can do to people? It seems like you’re lying to everybody—even me. Aren’t you worried about how I will grow up in this terrifying world that you, personally, have given us? Doesn’t that matter to you?

It ends: “Daddy, how do you sleep at night knowing that so many people hate you?”

Now comes Onion Social. It’s a mockery of social media, allegedly built by a 15-year-old and welcoming anyone as of June 18 “so long as they provide their email, Social Security number, bank routing information, and STI results.”

Need more of a sales pitch?

Onion Social is the next generation of the social networks, paving the way for users fed up with lesser social media websites to gain access to unfettered information, unparalleled reportage, and unmatched connectivity to friends and family without regard to the consequences. Want to organize a meet-up with your fundamentalist terror cell? You can do that here. Want access to an uncensored, near-infinite supply of child pornography? It’s at your fingertips. Because with Onion Social, we’re all about bringing the power of information and connections down to the masses of humanity. Welcome to Onion Social. We can’t wait to see what you’re capable of.

Sean L. McCarthy

Editor and publisher since 2007, when he was named New York's Funniest Reporter. Former newspaper reporter at the New York Daily News, Boston Herald and smaller dailies and community papers across America. Loves comedy so much he founded this site.

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