“I am so trained as a husband,” Dana Gould said on Wednesday’s Conan. Emerging from a divorce, he might not know how to approach a new lady for a date. And yet, as he explains toward the end of his latest stand-up performance, Gould has thought through even the very last moment of his life. It’s a great plan. As long as it adheres to the primary rule of comedy: Timing!

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For more where this came from, pick up a copy of Gould’s album, “I Know It’s Wrong.”

And talk about old-school: Dana Gould’s 2009 album, “Let Me Put My Thoughts In You,” is now available in vinyl thanks to Stand Up! Records.