“If I want three Vicodin, I have to do the ‘Coffee is for closers’ speech from the beginning of Glengarry Glen Ross to my doctor, and I gotta nail it. Maybe I’ll get three Vicodin out of the guy,” Oswalt observes. “If you make it past 70 in this country, you are invited to a pill party that would bring Bob Fosse back to life and kill him again. That is how many pills you are given. It’s amazing.”
He also realized, looking at his parents’ dog that’s meant to be lean and fit but isn’t, that they’ve merely duplicated the same technique they used on him. Which means all hope may be lost on him getting back into shape, even if society now tells us that we’re supposed to stay active past our 50s. He’s also past the point of worrying whether his comedy will win you over, too.
“I don’t want to sound arrogant, but I wasn’t going to lose you. And even if I was, I don’t give a sh*t. Not that — I want to have a good set. But if this set goes in the toilet, it will not equal the worst set I’ve ever had,” Oswalt acknowledges.