Glennis McMurray’s open letter to Linsday Lohan about that E*Trade commercial

Remember how Lindsay Lohan felt that Super Bowl commercial for E*Trade with the talking babies was specifically about her, so she sued them for $100 million, and eventually reached a settlement out of court in September?

Comedian Glennis McMurray cannot forget. Because McMurray voiced the part of the baby accusing Pete Holmes' baby of seeing "Lindsay" in the ad. This morning, McMurray wrote an open letter to Lohan.

Here's an excerpt:

PPPPPPPS – OK so I'm just going to come right out and say it.  That commercial had NOTHING to do with you.  Like, literally, nothing.  You know what nothing is right?  It's the lack of something.  The absence of things, things being you as the "hidden meaning" of that commercial.  I was hired to do a voice and that was it.  Why would I do something to hurt you?  I was just trying to do my job!  I mean think about it – you've done nothing to me – am I some psycho who just goes around hurting innocent people?  You know I'm not that person!  If you had done something to piss me off I would have called you and been like, "dude you really pissed me off!" and then you would have been like, "what did I do??" and I would have been all, "you borrowed my antique measuring cup and broke the handle off then tried to glue it back on and pass it off when you should have just told me you broke it in the first place.  You know I care more about you then some stupid measuring cup from the 50s!  Come on, girl!  You know that!"  And then we would have gotten together for some egg nog ice cream and pound cake (our fave!), snuggled on the couch and finished watching Season 1 of Damages.  Instead you chose to stab me in the back and I'm really pissed!  Fuck!  I don't know if we can be friends again.  Seriously, I think this might be a deal-breaker, lady.

It escalates from there, with an additional four PS's.

Sean L. McCarthy

Editor and publisher since 2007, when he was named New York's Funniest Reporter. Former newspaper reporter at the New York Daily News, Boston Herald and smaller dailies and community papers across America. Loves comedy so much he founded this site.

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