David Letterman got married (again)!

On tonight's edition of Late Show with David Letterman, you'll hear Letterman say something you never thought he'd say again: "I got married." Which is why I'm mentioning it here. This is Letterman's second marriage. He and Regina Lasko have a 5-year-old son, Harry. From the home office (not the one in Wahoo, Nebraska, but CBS headquarters in New York City), here are some official quotes from the transcript of this afternoon's taping…(video to come if and when it becomes available)

Lettermanlasko “On Thursday, at 3 PM, March 19, 2009 at the Teton County Courthouse in Choteau, Montana, I was married to Regina Lasko.”

“Regina and I began dating in February of 1986, and I said, ‘Well, things are going pretty good, let’s just see what happens in about ten years….’”

“…I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I – honestly, whether this happened or not – I secretly felt that men who were married admired me…like I was the last of the real gunslingers, you know what I’m saying?”

“So now, we get ready to go and we’ve got to drive into the courthouse and it’s muddy, and we’re supposed to be there at 2, and it’s me, Regina and Harry in the truck, in the pickup truck…So we get two miles from the house and we get stuck in the mud – I mean, turn the truck over, stuck in the mud.  So now we think, ‘Well, somebody’ll come– no, nobody comes along.  Nobody comes along – it’s Thursday afternoon, who’s coming along, Zorro?  No, nobody – so I get out of the truck and I walk two miles back to the house into a 50 mile an hour wind.  It’s not Beverly Hills, it’s Montana, for God’s sakes.  And the whole way, I’m thinking, ‘See, smart ass, see, see, you try to get married, this is what happens.  See, well, you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself.  Could have happened any other day, but you wait now, see, this is what you get.’  So then we get in the car and Harry says, ‘Are we still going into town?’ and I said, ‘Yes, we are,’ and he gets very upset because mom had told him if I wasn’t back in an hour, the deal was off.”

Sean L. McCarthy

Editor and publisher since 2007, when he was named New York's Funniest Reporter. Former newspaper reporter at the New York Daily News, Boston Herald and smaller dailies and community papers across America. Loves comedy so much he founded this site.

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