Onion writer selling joke on eBay…for $360?!

That's the current bid as I check in this afternoon. Really. 66 bids so far for an unknown original joke by John Harris, staff writer at The Onion, and the highest bid is at $360, with the auction ending Jan. 5. Even Harris is taken aback by it all, answering a prospective bidder this way today: "It was just something funny I was doing for the benefit of my friends. It's making me a bit uncomfortable, to be honest with you."

Here is a link to his joke auction, and the description he provided. No joke. Or, wait. Joke. Definitely joke. For sale.


My name is John Harris, and I am a
staff writer at The Onion, America's Finest News Source. I am selling a
joke that I can't find a contextual home for. To be fair, it's less of
a joke and more of a dated, Capote-esque cocktail party bon mot, but
decidedly more feeble. The best one can reasonably expect from this
item is a self-satisfied chuckle, such as can be observed issuing from
someone wearing a turtleneck while reading the Harper's Index. If that
didn't make you barf, please continue reading.

The item in question will be clearly hand-printed on a 3×5 index card
and mailed to the winning bidder upon receipt of payment. It has never
been used, and the buyer assumes all responsibility for any
consequences that might stem from sharing this joke, including the
dissolution of friendships and romantic relationships due to loss of
respect. The bidding will start at $0.57 so I can at least recoup the
cost of the stamp and the eBay listing charge.

Please keep in mind that, due to the nature of this item as well that
whole aphorism about accounting for taste, this is very much a caveat emptor-type transaction. In other words, no refunds.

Thanks and happy bidding,
John Harris

UPDATED: Bidding ended on Monday, Jan. 5, at $365.

Sean L. McCarthy

Editor and publisher since 2007, when he was named New York's Funniest Reporter. Former newspaper reporter at the New York Daily News, Boston Herald and smaller dailies and community papers across America. Loves comedy so much he founded this site.

View all posts by Sean L. McCarthy →

2 thoughts on “Onion writer selling joke on eBay…for $360?!

  1. I ad fun reading the q&a’s until I realized there were 4 pages. I left… Are you going to follow it to the end? I will probably forget…

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