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Wasn’t so long ago that the UK tabloids showcased young women with “big naturals” on Page 3 of their daily newspapers. That could be eye-opening to a child. For Petts, she also recounts her enjoyment at reading all of the salacious stories in print when she was only 8 years old, and how consuming lad culture molded her into who she was and perhaps is. Yes, she knows some of the elderly patrons at her shows, who before now had only seen her on TV in Have I Got News For You, may have bought tickets expecting “polite young man” only to perceive a “rude lesbian” in front of them.
But Petts isn’t rude, per se. She merely grew up seeing Kasabian upward of 14 times in concert, where watching men fight seemed “like Billy Elliot seeing ballet for the first time,” and where she felt inspired enough to join a Christian rock band at age 17. Petts jokes in finding similarities between church and football, as they both specialize in weekend gatherings of fans in fellowship, chanting for an entity bound to let them down. Speaking of footy, she also recounts the time her profession lucked her into VIP seats at the Women’s Euro finals in Wembley, but she nonetheless also found herself in awkward situations.
All of it may sound like she’s slagging off men, but Petts reveals that she, like them, is emotionally unavailable. And she has her own faults when it comes to attracting and being attracted to “baby gays.” You see, Petts is much more “gateway lesbian” than “rude lesbian.”
And unlike Tom Meighan, Petts won’t let you down.
Chloe Petts: Big Naturals plays Pleasance Forth through Aug. 24, 2025.
