Adam Sandler performs his quarantine song (watch with full lyrics)

The Sandman is here to cheer us up, and perhaps even more importantly, shout out the need to support our doctors and nurses fighting to keep as many of us alive as possible through the coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic.

Adam Sandler performed a new original song on Thursday’s Tonight Show. Behold! Sing along!

♪ Doctors brought us into this world as babies ♪

♪ Doctors take good care of your grandma ♪

♪ Doctors always give you an old lollipop ♪

♪ After hitting your knee with a hammer ♪

♪ Nurses slap your arm till they find a good vein ♪

♪ They wear Crocs, and they tell you the truth ♪

♪ Nurses give you ice packs and pain medication ♪

♪ While your doctor is smoking on the roof ♪

♪ Doctors and nurses will save us from this mess ♪

♪ If we get them the supplies that they need ♪

♪ And I hope they save us soon ♪

♪ ‘Cause I’m really, really sick of my family ♪


♪ If you’re a nerd, a doctor can give you a note ♪

♪ So during gym class you don’t have to run the mile ♪

♪ School nurses give deodorant to stinky kids ♪

♪ So they’re a little less stinky for a while ♪

♪ God bless Italian doctors in Italy ♪

♪ And all the Spanish doctors in Spain ♪

♪ And God bless Chinese doctors in China ♪

♪ And also Chinese doctors in America ♪


♪ We got to build some ventilators and make more masks ♪

♪ We got to do it now, so let’s all come together ♪

♪ I’m teaching math to my kids ♪

♪ And that can’t be good for America ♪


♪ Stay home as much as you can, make sure to wash your hands ♪

♪ Let’s make this damn thing go away ♪


♪ We love you, doctors and nurses ♪

♪ You’re saving lives every day ♪

♪ Find a cure for this [bleep] ♪

♪ ‘Cause I really, really miss hugging my mailman ♪


Sean L. McCarthy

Editor and publisher since 2007, when he was named New York's Funniest Reporter. Former newspaper reporter at the New York Daily News, Boston Herald and smaller dailies and community papers across America. Loves comedy so much he founded this site.

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