Andy Kindler didn’t last more than a minute onstage before he got sidetracked from his intended mission. Instead of one microphone to deliver his 2017 State of the Industry address at Montreal’s Just For Laughs, the festival had set up two mics, neither one near his face.
That just made the screen behind him a self-fulfilling prophecy, as it boasted of Kindler’s address: “Perennial Malcontent Loses His Temper For Your Amusement.”
2017 marked his 22nd year delivering a speech about the industry to the industry, along with several hundred comedians.
At this point, Kindler wasn’t exactly mincing words from the beginning.
“I don’t even want a deal. Can you imagine me flying up here, thinking this is the year?!” Kindler cracked. “This is my 22nd year doing this speech…22 years. Do the math! On how much this hasn’t done for my career!”
Midway through his speech, Kindler offered a series of “apologies” to the likes of the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, Whoopi Goldberg, Jeff Dunham, Dennis Miller, Caroline and the City, Two Guys A Girl and A Pizza Place, and Jeff Zucker. He also read aloud the Steve Harvey memo to his daytime talk-show staff, and poked fun at the CNN series, The History of Comedy, which had a screening and panel at this year’s JFL.
And zingers. Plenty of zingers! Among the notable ones this year:
- “There are more people in this room than subscribe to Seeso!”
- “Why does anything I prepare near the speech never work?”
- “I figure three more years and I’ll have figured out show business”
- “Netflix is releasing a new comedy special every week. It’s exciting because now you can binge watch America getting tired of stand up comedy again.”
- “It’s a one way argument with Ricky Gervais because he pretends to not acknowledge me.”
- “No more self-sabotage! Now it’s only the quality of my act that’s going to sink me.”
- “Chris Rock is back in the clubs working on a special. Yes, Chris Rock is back in the clubs working on a special. The special is an hour long, but it’s only a half hour of material because he says everything twice. The special is an hour long, but it’s only a half hour of material because he says everything twice.”
- On Showtime’s I’m Dying Up Here: “I don’t even think there were that many dick jokes in 1973…I’m just mad because I auditioned for a recurring role”
- “I do feel like I have magical powers, though. Kathy Griffin blocked me on Twitter six months ago, and look what happened!”
- “I was ahead of the Jimmy Fallon curve. I joked in 2012 that Jimmy Fallon would interview Stalin” (that is his pinned tweet, btw)
"I heard you were responsible for like 30 million deaths. That's crazy." Jimmy Fallon interviewing Stalin
— (((Andy Kindler))) (@AndyKindler) November 17, 2012
Listen to his full speech, plus a wonderful intro by Guy Branum, here: