Look. I know this isn’t the actual table.
But still. The Onion’s editorial staff is facing a move this spring to Chicago to meet up with HQ (and The AV Club and advertising/sales staff to cut costs), so they’ve begun putting their New York City office supplies up for bid via Craigslist. The most visible feature is this “writers table” which is offered for $10,000 or best offer.
As the Craigslist listing states: “This table is the site where tens of thousands of millions of ideas have been conceived, developed, painfully delivered, raised, nurtured and chucked into the world. Majestic comedic charisma may be embedded into the fibrous tissue that forms this otherwise completely standard piece.”
But I have it on good authority that everything else in the office, from desks to tables to chairs to rugs, is also up for bid on Craigslist with or without “The Office” branding. You can search Furniture by Sale by Owner within Soho to see what’s available and figure out for yourself which items were used by Onion staffers and which were used by other New Yorkers. Does that matter to you?
If it does, perhaps you should email the seller and let him/her/them know that you’d like to have “The Onion” guarantee that fake news manufactured itself on or around these items.