The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump will air this evening.
At the taping last week in New York City, they had Trump and the other performers walk a gold carpet to meet the assembled press. Was it gold instead of red to match Trump's hair, his skin color or his wealth? We may never know. Because I didn't ask. Anyhow. Being an independent online journalist has its advantages (getting invited to cover a Comedy Central Roast) and its disadvantages (usually placed at the very end of the line at a red-carpet, when celebrities are tired of posing for photos and answering the same dumb questions over and over from TV personalities).
For Trump's roast, though, I had a key ally. Near me at the end of the line were a cameraman and reporter for the Golf Channel. Yes. The Golf Channel. Maybe not as prestigious as the TV tabloid shows, but in fact more so, because they air a series starring the Donald himself, Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World of Golf. Trump owns several golf courses, and they've been featured before on Celebrity Apprentice, and possibly again (spoiler?). Having those guys there meant that even if all of the other celebs passed me by, Trump himself would be within speaking distance. I knew I could get his attention for one question.
Here it comes. Roll it!
Yes. I used my one question to ask him about my hair. Not his hair. My hair. I've had an awareness that my hair is weird for some time now, but if Donald J. Trump, of all people, can give me the thumb's up on my do, then so can I. He owns his look. I'm gonna own mine, too!
As for the Roast itself, you can look back at my Twitter feed (@thecomicscomic) and see a few jokes I quoted during the taping.
The Good: Anthony Jeselnik, making the most of his first performance on the dais. Jeffrey Ross, trying to help Michael Sorrentino by giving him an out. Also stand-out performances from Snoop Dogg and Marlee Matlin, the latter proving that sign language can come in handy, so to speak, when delivering insults.
The Bad: Sorrentino, aka "The Situation" from MTV's Jersey Shore, bombing in such a gloriously awful way that afterward, he didn't even know how horrible he was. Larry King clearly did not write his own material, nor did he appear to have seen it before reading it off of the prompter, as his writers pranked him into reading several lines that made it appear as though he thought he were still on his CNN show.
The Ugly: Lisa Lampanelli, am I right? Haha. Just kidding. Not really. You know.
If you use Skype, then you can participate in a pre-roast fireside chat with Jeffrey Ross. Just add CCROASTS to your contact list, wait for them to go online, and when they are, call in.