Sometimes, it turns out for the best that your big break never broke.

Tom Segura told the story on Tuesday’s Late Show with Stephen Colbert about how, more than a decade ago, Segura had booked a nationwide TV commercial spokesman campaign with Subway to appear as the unhealthy brother of Jared. Even Segura knew that was a bad idea at the time. For several reasons. Even if we didn’t know it would’ve been an even worse decision in hindsight. Somewhere those ads still exist, though. Until then, we thankfully just think of Segura as the star of three stand-up specials on Netflix.

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