Notes from Underground – Day 1

I’m sick. I’m tired. So officially, I’m sick and tired. I stayed up most of the night Tuesday balancing my day job (yes, some of us comedians — that would be the bad ones — still have one of those), watching election returns and desperately trying to figure out if I have any jokes. And I mean any. Some people laugh at me all the time, it seems. But I don’t tell jokes. Not the kind you tell around the water cooler at work the next morning kind of jokes, or even the ones you tell at the bar or in a comedy club (by far the best place to tell jokes). I’m more of a walking specimen of uninhibited madness, unleashed nightly to shock and amaze unsuspecting audiences. And I’m about to do battle for six straight nights with 17 people who write and tell jokes FOR A LIVING! I’m competing in the annual Seattle International Comedy Competition. Thank goodness for Jesse "The Body" Ventura. That’s Minnesota Governor-elect Ventura to you. His electoral win Tuesday taught me that the key to success in life is having a good nickname. After tonight’s performance, I could use a good nickname — or anything else — right about now. I finished 14th. An optimist would say that makes me funnier than four of the comedians in my group PLUS all of...

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