Amy Schumer’s first Saturday Night Live monologue
Amy Schumer's first monologue as host of Saturday Night Live (because Lorne Michaels and company surely will invite her back again) provided not only a flurry of furiously funny punchlines, but also a hilarious Easter egg for the nerdiest fans of SNL trivia.
Can you find it among these chestnuts?
- To the 9-year-old who played Schumer in Trainwreck, complaining about how her cheek size helps and hurts her landing acting roles: "Well, what does that mean, Devon?! My cheeks are fine, Devon!"
- On the problem of having Kardashians as role models: "She doesn't have a Malala poster in her room. Trust me. And is that a great message for little girls for a whole family of women who take the faces they were born with as like a light suggestion? Is that great? No!"
- On washing her 18-month-old niece's butthole and vagina: "You don't want to support Jessica Alba because she's too pretty, but it's like awesome soap, it turns out." "I didn't go nuts. I washed it as if I was washing my own butthole when I knew I wasn't hooking up with anybody." "And then her vagina, I just tinder swiped. Like a quick boop!"
- On meeting Bradley Cooper: "You would say things like any hole's fine!"
- On getting her files hacked, but not worrying about nude photos leaking: "Under this, you can't really tell but it just looks like a lava lamp. Things are just moving around and not finding a home."
- Schumer's most Googled: "Can I drink on these antibiotics?" and "Do these antibiotics make my birth control worthless?"
Schumer also joked about meeting Hillary Clinton and asking about the former First Lady and potentially future president's drinking habits.
Roll the clip!
* Somewhere, Martin Lawrence smiles the biggest Cheshire cat grin.