The current tour of Steve Martin and Martin Short is billed officially as “Steve Martin with the Steep Canyon Rangers & Martin Short in a Very Stupid Conversation.”
But the audience who paid to see two of The Three Amigos on Friday night in San Antonio received a special treat when their third amigo turned out to be David Letterman!
Letterman, sporting a full beard, emerged out of retirement and back into a suit for the occasion, telling his friends: “Every suit I own comes with a Top 10 list.” Why’d he write up a new list? Trump. Donald Trump.
“I am so happy to be out of the house,” Letterman said. He claimed to have no regrets about retiring from late-night TV, until Trump announced he was running for president. “I have made the biggest mistake of my life, ladies and gentlemen,” Letterman joked. So. A special Top 10 list. And here we go!
Top 10 Interesting Facts About Donald Trump
10. That thing on his head was the gopher in Caddyshack.
9. During sex, Donald Trump calls out his own name.
8. Donald Trump looks like the guy in a life boat with the women and children.
7. He wants to build a wall? How about building a wall around that thing on his head!
6. Trump walked away from a moderately successful television show for some delusional bullsh–…oh wait, that’s me.
5. Donald Trump weighs 240 pounds. 250 with cologne.
4. Trump would like all Americans to know that that thing on his head is free-range.
3. (tie) If president, instead of pardoning a turkey on Thanksgiving, plans to evict a family on Thanksgiving.
That’s not a hairdo. It’s a wind advisory.
2. Donald Trump has pissed off so many Mexicans, he’s staring in a new movie. It’s called No Amigos.
1. Thanks to Donald Trump, the Republican mascot is also an ass.
Just another night backstage with Marty and Letterman. pic.twitter.com/XeW8MXrwze
— Steve Martin (@SteveMartinToGo) July 11, 2015