As a lifelong native New Yorker, Colin Quinn must have appeared in multiple episodes within the Law & Order universe on NBC, right? You’d think that, wouldn’t you. So would Quinn. Especially since every other NYC comedian and aspiring actor has performed a turn in one or more of the L&O series over the past two decades. And yet.

Quinn has to settle for imagining what his episode would have looked like, which he demonstrates in this stand-up set from Friday night’s Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. If you’re watching, SVU producers, Quinn is available!

Roll the clip!