Brad Trackman was on Tuesday night’s Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, where he reminds us that every group of women out on the town has one friend who’s not the like others. Which is how he feels, too. Except he’s married. For several years. Which leads to different relationship issues. Obviously. Even for short guys. Which makes him nostalgic for what it was like in elementary school as a short kid. And a left-handed short kid at that.

Roll the clip.