I know it says Andrew Garfield was hosting Saturday Night Live, and yet, it felt like he wasn’t. Not that his name conjures up live sketch comedy anyhow, but seriously, Emma Stone sure hung around quite a bit to help him through the monologue and other sketches. Fun fact: Garfield showed up in a cameo when Stone hosted SNL two years ago. Coldplay was musical guest then, too.
Neither of them showed up in the cold open.
Donald Sterling Press Conference Cold Open: Kenan Thompson as the NAACP leader and Jay Pharoah as Dennis Rodman save the cold open by defending their presence alongside racist L.A. Clippers owner Donald Sterling (Bobby Moynihan). Sasheer Zamata plays his new girl, more black, less hater. Taran Killam as new NBA commish Adam Silver looks and talks the dorky white part, but look. C’mon. Look. C’mon.
Andrew Garfield Monologue: A couple of weeks ago, SNL trotted out plenty of celebrity cameos to help Seth Rogen through his monologue. For Garfield, only Emma Stone. But also, here’s Aidy Bryant, who reveals she’s in The Amazing Spider-Man 2, too! “Hey, nice outfit!”
Fake ad in the fake ad slot!
Stanx: Beck Bennett plays a man who has gas in the office. Stanx! Odor lock technology? “Thanks Stanx!” A straightforward ad spoof that knows how to take a smelly premise and give it a visual punchline.
Celebrity Family Feud: Kenan Thompson’s Steve Harvey hosts an all-musician edition of the Feud, although we barely spend time with the Americans, as all the International team members — Kate McKinnon as Shakira, Jay Pharoah as Drake, Aidy Bryant as Adele and Taran Killam as Russell Crowe — win the option to guess “Something You Do When You Get Bored.” Oh, and Garfield prances about as Justin Timberlake. JT was the focus of the previous Feud sketch, also! That time, JT was Jimmy Fallon. Anyhow. Noël Wells shows off a nice Reba McEntire but doesn’t get to do more with it, while Nasim Pedrad plays Bruno Mars and Kyle Mooney takes on Skrillex.
Cut to commercial, and there’s Andrew Garfield shaving his head for Arcade Fire’s “We Exist” video, so that explains that?
Oliver: In this take on “Oliver Twist,” Garfield has the title role, but when he asks for some more, he’s up against Deirdre (Cecily Strong) for the last of the food. Deirdre is a full-grown woman. They should call this sketch “Deirdre.”
The Beygency: Fake movie trailer for a world in which one man dares to dis the Queen B. Not without consequences from The Beygency, you don’t. So Garfield’s character finds himself on the run, and not even 24‘s Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland) and Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub) can save him. Or themselves. Is The Beygency an outfit related to The Adjustment Bureau, and did anyone watch that movie in the theater or did you just wait like me and see it an odd number of times on cable?
Look at this, it’s a Coldplay ad, followed by a Coldplay song. Ladies and gentlemen: “Magic.”
Weekend Update saw the return of two recurring Update characters and the debut of one real-life SNL writer, stand-up comedian Leslie Jones.
Olya Povlatsky stops by the Update desk to discuss the Ukrainian attack against Russia and quote her new favorite show, Full House. FML? How about FMP! What is this FML, Cecil…Do tell. She’s not completely outdated, though. She has an HBOGo password, because she’s no animal!
SNL writer and “Image Expert” Leslie Jones stopped by to discuss Lupita Nyong’o being named People Magazine’s Most Beautiful Person. What about the “Most Useful” list, though? You tell it, Leslie! Superbaby Sinbad!
Jones and her throwback set imagining her life in slavery gives us a proper segue, perhaps, to a return appearance by 1860s newspaper critic Jebidiah Atkinson (Taran Killam), who not only reviews the 2014 Tony nominations but also serves up his sassy dish on classic Broadway plays.
After a break, we’re back with more Spider-Man.
Spiderman Kiss: Taran Killam plays the director of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 trying to set up a finale kissing scene for stars Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone. How about just some normal kissing? Normal kissing! Chris Martin from Coldplay steps up and steps in to show them how it’s done. Sorry, wrong Gwen, Gwyneth. With great power comes great responsibility, and the responsibility to make sweet, sweet love. Get a room, you crazy kids!
Wedding: Bobby Moynihan is delivering the toast at a wedding reception when he hands it over to the Best Man (Garfield), who makes a mess of things for the happy couple (Strong and Killam), despite his connection to the Maid of Honor (Pedrad).
Once again, Coldplay. This is “A Sky Full of Stars.”
Not a lot of time, so why not give people a second chance to enjoy “The Bird Bible”? It’s like The Bible. But it’s gone to the birds!
And that’s all, folks? I feel like we had a couple of hits, missed some good opportunities for more. But look. C’mon. See you next Saturday and let’s try this again!