When is it ever a good time to trot out a pro-drugs message? Not that that’s what Daniel Sloss was trying to do with his performance on Wednesday night’s Conan. Oh, no. Sloss just likes one particular drug, and if you’re up late watching TV, then perhaps it’s the same drug you like, too. Sloss also thinks it’s weird that people argue that one chooses whether or not to be gay, because when he really thinks about it, if he had a choice, there’d be no choice at all.

Roll the clip.