Jon Lajoie’s timeless ode to the latest pop music scandal du jour: “Miley, You’re A Good Girl”

You’ve seen plenty of snark and bark in the past two days following the MTV VMAs, and particularly about Miley Cyrus and her act-out performance (which she promised in a pre-show boast would be her moment to take the torch that had been passed down before her from Madonna to Britney Spears).

Now hear this.

It’s a song by Jon Lajoie, whom you see on FXX’s The League, and have seen and heard in very popular songs and music videos.

Lajoie wrote on Twitter @jonlajoiecomedy today: “I wrote a song for Miley Cyrus yesterday. I can’t believe it either. I was REALLY bored”

This is “Miley, You’re A Good Girl”

We want topless women in our music videos

We want pop stars acting like they’re in a porno

You know we want it and we gettin’ what we ask for

But then when Miley does it we say ‘oh my God, no!’

Why is she acting like a ho? This is so wrong, we all object

Where did she get the idea to act like a sexual object?

I suspect she is on drugs, I think she’s losing her mind

Did you see her shaking her ass on TV singing “Blurred Lines”!

Which is such a wholesome song I can’t believe she ruined it

Her slutty moves made Robin Thicke look misogynistic

What a bitch, she makes me sick, doesn’t she have ethics?

How dare she try to use sex to sell pop music?

We want topless women in our music videos

We want pop stars acting like they’re in a porno

You know we want it and we gettin’ what we ask for

But then when Miley does it we say ‘oh my God, no!’

The line’s no longer blurred, you crossed it and upset the nation

Don’t get us wrong, we’re super cool with objectification

But it’s hard to watch you play that part, we’ve known you for too long

So please go back to singing the Hanna Montana theme song

And we’ll go back to watching others do exactly what you did

And we won’t be offended ’cause we cannot picture them as kids

And we’ll be cool with videos of women prancing around naked

And it won’t be sexist as long as the song is a #1 hit

We want topless women in our music videos

We want pop stars acting like they’re in a porno

You know we want it and we gettin’ what we ask for

But then when Miley does it we say ‘oh my God, no!’

Miley, oh Miley,

you’re upsetting everybody

by acting so slutty

unlike the other pop stars

unlike the other pop stars

Sean L. McCarthy

Editor and publisher since 2007, when he was named New York's Funniest Reporter. Former newspaper reporter at the New York Daily News, Boston Herald and smaller dailies and community papers across America. Loves comedy so much he founded this site.

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