by Nick Offerman, who should have won at least one Emmy already by now for his scene-stealing role as Ron Swanson in NBC's Parks and Recreation, showed up last night on Conan without his TV mustache! Or as Offerman said, in "the ultimate disguise."
Roll the clip.
Some other things we learned about how to be a Manly Man, courtesy of Offerman:
- If you're going to pose naked for a magazine with your wife, don't starve yourself beforehand and deny yourself the joys of fine European sausages. Why? "You gotta live, you know? We only go around once on this big blue marble."
- "If you strap on a tool bag, it's a proven rule that a visceral reaction goes off in women when they see a guy in a tool bag."
- "When I see people wearing flip-flop sandals in public, it sickens me…What if Red Dawn happens and some Communists land in parachutes, and we have to suddenly run or fight them, and you're wearing flip-flip sandals?!" "That's beachwear."
- If you get a flat tire, and decide to call AAA instead of fixing it yourself? "I say that's your choice, but that's a weak choice…Change your own God-damned tire!" "If you put this on pause right now and go out to your vehicle, everything is in your car that you need to change your tire. Do it safely. Just show yourself that you can do it, and your genitalia will expand exponentially."
