After Conan O'Brien published a press release yesterday afternoon saying he would not harm the Tonight Show franchise by moving it a half-hour past the late local news, but did not explicitly say he was quitting, everyone wondered what his show would be like last night. Well, Conan had plenty of jokes about NBC and did not want to hear his guests Tom Brokaw and Zachary Levi mention the network — despite the sad but obvious fact that, well, both of his guests were employed by NBC and also because Conan's situation was the only situation worth talking about (and that includes you, Jersey Shore guy).

Conan kept it kinda classy, however, by not elaborating on his statement. Instead, he let his staffers do the joking for him. Deon Cole, who jumped from stand-up to writer on the show, emerged to tell Conan how it really is, by comparing NBC's late-night lineup to a bunch of prostitutes working for the pimp network. Because, really, if you think about it, show business has some things in common with the oldest profession. If you don't have control over your broadcasting airwaves, you're going to have to take a lot of abuse from the boss. But do you, really? Roll the clip.