I have been meaning to post many things today, but before I can do that, I must encourage you to watch this devastatingly funny, on-point, and sometimes completely random critique of Star Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace, by an outfit called Red Letter Media that offers video production services (and film reviews!) in Milwaukee. It went up about a week ago, and it has seven parts to it. Just wow. If I were an old man with a basement and had enough spare time and video-editing knowledge, I could only hope to put something like this together. Too funny! Contains some profanities, but they are wholly and utterly essential, because, craptastic doesn't begin to describe what George Lucas did with the most successful movie franchise ever. Just when I thought I knew why we hated this movie, this 70-minute takedown reminds us in detail after detail just how mind-blowingly dumb we were for allowing this to dominate our pop culture landscape. We're going to party like it's 1999 up in this website. I cannot wait until 10 years from now when someone does this to Avatar.

Part one examines the characters. Apparently a movie needs a character you can believe in, or at least describe. How'd they do on that front? Roll it!

Part two takes a look at story. Every movie needs a story, right? How would you like a trade federation that's against trade. Sounds sexy!

Part three. So this is the plot, right? Put it in the tea!

Part four. So now there's an invasion. That must make things exciting. But why is this happening, again? And why would you make battle droids that are utterly useless at battle? Discuss.

Part five. Qui-gon Jinn says what? Why isn't Obi-Wan the star of this show? There is a pod race for some reason. And Anakin built C-3PO. That makes sense, because…

Part six. Why a light saber duel is not about the light sabers, and using George Lucas' words against him.

And now, the seventh and final part. There's way too much going on here, and way too much of it is not worth caring about. The end?