Month: October 2006

Quotes from Jon Stewart, live in concert

More words and wisdom from Jon Stewart, dispensed onstage Friday night at the Wang Theatre in Boston. On the Wang Center…"This is, by far, the nicest Wang I’ve ever seen.""It sounds like a holistic healing center for your d—…we’ll wrap it in kelp." On gays wanting to be in the St. Patrick’s Day parade: "You don’t want anything to take away from the dignity of that parade." On gays wanting to be in the Boy Scouts: "Already the gayest organization ever." On gays being an abomination in the Bible: "You what else is an abomination? Shellfish. Where’s that sign?!" Acknowledging his sex talk onstage: "Wha? You’re not the nice man from the television show. This s— gets weird when it’s live." On science? "They’re working on cloning? We have six billion people…f—ing is working!" "Billions of dollars to make a sheep that looks exactly like another sheep." That’s the whole point of sheep, he said. That’s why you count them to fall asleep. On man ruining the planet: "As far as the Earth is concerned, we’re a mild case of eczema." On how Bush gets away with so much: "He doesn’t care. Clinton cared, but he cared too much. In a creepy way." On Vice President Cheney: "The guy hasn’t done one thing right yet." But Bush still trusts him. Why? The only thing Stewart would trust Cheney with?...

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SNL 32.1: Dane Cook/The Killers

Saving the best for last is not the phrase you want associated with Saturday Night Live. Alas, such was the case on the Sept. 30 32nd season-opener, hosted by Dane Cook. The final sketch of the night was a parody of the current Geico TV ads, with Andy Samberg playing the real-life customer and Maya Rudolph as Whitney Houston, his celebrity helper. It’s not on YouTube yet (despite what Cook said in his monologue) but NBC has featured it online. But back to the recap…Season 32 begins with a "cold open" of an unwanted President Bush at a campaign for comptroller in South Carolina. I couldn’t help but immediately think to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, the Aaron Sorkin un-SNL show, and the scene in which Matthew Perry’s character challenges the writers to come up with something fresher than a Bush-mocking "cold open" skit. But there you have it. I’m smelling a theme. That theme smells like stale (fill in the blank with anything you want, including the word stale).Roll opening credits. They look nice and big and pretty.What about your host Dane Cook? Does he look nice and big and pretty?Well, he does jump into a crouching position. Then he grabs a mike to remind himself that he’s a stand-up comic, not a TV host, and begins his monologue by defending himself against negative people. "Don’t you...

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October 2006
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