Steven Wright made a rare live appearance (note: though it’d turn out to be part of his training for his first new CD in decades) on Valentine’s Day in Boston for a benefit show called "A Funny Kind of Love" at the Avalon nightclub.

Wright’s 32-minute set — a nonstop barrage of non sequiturs, tongue-twisting mind-benders and premise-based stories — even had fellow performer Lenny Clarke howling from the side of the stage. "I’m even laughing before the punchlines!" Clarke exclaimed about midway through Wright’s set.

Here were a few of Wright’s quips that night:

"I wish my first word as a baby was ‘quote,’ so when I died, I could’ve said ‘end quote.’"

"What did Jesus ever do for Santa Claus on his birthday?"

"My problem is I was reincarnated without ever having lived before."

"My dog has a Web site. All it has is naked cats."

"You know the Earth is bipolar."

"Tomorrow I’m going to have an MRI to find out if I’m claustrophobic."

"I have two very rare photographs. One is of Harry Houdini getting locked out of his car. The other is of Norman Rockwell beating up a kid."

"I have a friend who is in prison for counterfeit pennies. I told him it wasn’t worth it. You know how they caught him? He had heads and tails on the wrong side."

"I’m addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn’t matter."

"A friend of mine has a trophy wife. But apparently, it wasn’t first place."