Oh. What was that? Did I miss something? Nope. The telecast was just as I had predicted it in my Sunday story. In a word: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I think the problem is one of oversaturation. We saw so much of this already, and in such more comfortable surroundings, whether it was the gleeful Golden Globes or the dignified Screen Actors Guild awards — so by the time we made it to the Academy, all the fun was gone. And Chris Rock tried so hard to be something he’s not, instead of embracing his Chris Rockness. Oh well. If we’re lucky, Rock’s opening lines may have proven to be all too astute when he announced he was hosting the 77th and last Academy Awards.
Chris Rock’s monologue: What was everyone worried about exactly? He even told the same jokes from his rehearsals earlier last week (and revealed online in spoiler fashion).
At the water cooler (or over the instant-messaging service) tomorrow, you’ll likely dish about tonight’s Academy Awards and debate who looked fabulous, who looked fabulously awful and whether Chris Rock hit the mark with his monologue.
Years from now, however, your biggest Oscar memories won’t be about who wore what, who hosted or even who won – they’ll be about what the winners said in their 60 seconds of live prime-time glory.
Don’t believe me?
Name the year and movie that won Roberto Benigni the Best Actor Oscar. Roberto who? Oh, you mean the guy who climbed over A-listers and their chairs, then said he’d "like to be Jupiter and kidnap everybody and lie down in the ground making love to everybody.”
Yes, that guy.
Try this in a public place. Ask everyone who has seen The Pianist to raise their hands. Now ask how many of them remember seeing Adrien Brody lip-lock Halle Berry when he won an Oscar for that film. Note the difference.
Oscar telecasts are such droll, drawn-out, meticulously planned affairs that it’s the acceptance speeches – often the only unpredictable part of the show – we remember most.